Say vs Tell: The English Difference That Confuses Everyone

If you’re learning English, there’s a good chance you’ve typed this into Google at least once:

“Difference between say and tell”

You’re not alone.

This is one of the most confusing—and most searched—English questions in the world.

Why?
Because say and tell both mean “to speak,” but English uses them in very different ways. Native speakers don’t think about the rules—but learners have to.

Let’s finally clear it up simply, clearly, and with real-life examples.

The Big Idea (One Sentence)

“Say” focuses on the words.
“Tell” focuses on the listener.

Once you understand that difference, everything becomes much easier.

How “Say” Works

We use say when the words themselves are important.

Common patterns

• say + something
• say + (that) + sentence
• say + quote

Examples

• She said she was tired.
• They said it wasn’t a problem.
• He said, “I’ll call you later.”

Important rule

❌ Say usually does not include the listener.

If you do mention the listener, you must use to:

• She said to me that she was busy.
• He said to his boss that he disagreed.

But this form is uncommon in natural, spoken English. In modern, everyday English, native speakers usually avoid this structure.

Instead, they prefer:

tell + person → He told me he was tired.

say with no listener mentioned → He said he was tired.

So while say + to + person exists, it often sounds: formal, stiff and slightly unnatural in conversation.

When it DOES sound natural

Native speakers use say + to + person mainly in these situations:

a) With short phrases or set expressions

• She said hello to me.
• He said sorry to his team.
• I said goodbye to everyone.

These are very common and sound completely natural.

b) In more formal or written contexts

• reports
• storytelling
• legal or official writing

Example:

• He said to the court that he had no further comments.

How “Tell” Works

We use tell when the listener matters.

If you use tell, you almost always say who receives the information.

Common patterns

• tell + someone + something
• tell + someone + (that) + sentence
• tell + someone + about something

Examples

• She told me the truth.
• He told us (that) he was leaving.
• I told my friend about the problem.

❌ You cannot say: She told that she was tired.

✔️ You must include the person: She told me that she was tired.

The Most Common Learner Mistake

This sentence feels logical—but it’s wrong:

❌ He said me the news.

Why? Because say cannot take a direct object (me, him, her).

Correct version

✔️ He told me the news.

Situations Where Only ONE Works

Some phrases are fixed expressions in English. You just have to learn them.

We say:

Say hello

• When we finally met in person, she smiled and said hello as if we already knew each other.
• He always says hello to the security guard before entering the building.
• I said hello, but she didn’t seem to hear me.

Say goodbye

• They said goodbye at the station, knowing it might be a long time before they met again.
• I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye before he left.
• She had said goodbye so many times that it stopped feeling final.

Say sorry

• He said sorry for the misunderstanding, even though it wasn’t entirely his fault.
• I should have said sorry earlier instead of staying silent.
• She has never once said sorry for the way she treated them.

Say something

• I waited for him to say something, but the room remained painfully quiet.
• If something feels wrong, you should say something before it gets worse.
• She was clearly upset, yet she refused to say anything.

Say nothing

• He read the message carefully and chose to say nothing.
• I expected an explanation, but she said nothing and walked away.
• Sometimes the kindest response is to say nothing at all.

Usiamo “Tell”:

Tell a lie

• She finally told the truth after weeks of avoiding the question.
• He has always told the truth, even when it put him in an uncomfortable position.
• If you had told the truth from the beginning, this situation would have been much simpler.

Tell a lie

• He told a lie to protect his friend, not to deceive anyone.
• She had told a lie once before and regretted it immediately.
• It’s easier to trust someone who admits a mistake than someone who tells a lie.

Tell a story

• My grandfather used to tell stories about his childhood every winter evening.
• She told a story so convincingly that everyone believed it was true.
• He told a story about what happened, but parts of it didn’t quite make sense.

---

Tell a secret

• I told her a secret and trusted her not to share it with anyone else.
• He has never told anyone the secret he has carried for years.
• She wished she hadn’t told a secret that wasn’t hers to share.

Tell someone off

• The teacher told him off for arriving late again.
• She was told off by her manager for ignoring the instructions.
• I didn’t expect to be told off so harshly over such a small mistake.

Tell the news

• She told the news calmly, even though everyone in the room was visibly shocked.
• He had already told his parents the news before speaking to anyone else.
• They will tell the news officially later this afternoon.

Tell the difference

• I can’t tell the difference between the two designs without looking closely.
• She has always been able to tell the difference between genuine concern and politeness.
• At first glance, he couldn’t tell the difference.

Tell the time

• By the age of five, she could already tell the time without help.
• I haven’t been able to tell the time properly since my watch stopped working.
• He glanced at the tower clock to tell the time before the meeting started.

---

Tell the future

• Some people claim they can tell the future by reading patterns in nature.
• She never said she could tell the future, only that she noticed trends.
• If anyone could truly tell the future, mistakes would be impossible.

Tell a joke

• He told a joke to ease the tension in the room.
• She was telling a joke when she realised no one was laughing.
• He has told the same joke so many times that everyone knows the ending.

Tell a tale

• The old sailor would tell tales of distant oceans and strange encounters.
• She told a tale that blurred the line between memory and imagination.
• Stories are remembered longer when someone takes the time to tell a tale.

Real-Life, Modern Examples

This is how native speakers actually use say and tell in everyday life:

Examples with SAY

• He said he’d text, but he never did.
• She said it wasn’t a big deal… but it clearly was.
• She said she was “five minutes away,” but she arrived half an hour later.
• They said they’d update us by Friday, but we’re still waiting.
• He said he was working from home, but he never logged on.
• She said she’d think about it and get back to me.
• He said he’d send the file, but I haven’t seen it yet.
• She said she was fine, then muted the conversation.

Examples with TELL

• Did you tell her what really happened?
• I told my boss I’d be late.
• I told him I couldn’t talk right now, and he understood.
• Did you tell anyone about the meeting being moved?
• I told her not to worry, even though I was worried myself.
• I told my manager I needed the day off.
• Did you tell the group chat what time we’re meeting?
• I told them I’d join later if I finished in time.

Final Thought

“Say” and “tell” are small words, but using them correctly makes your English sound clear, confident, and natural.

And once this clicks, you’ll start noticing them everywhere—
in conversations, movies, emails, and messages.

That’s when you know it’s really working.

 

Gap-Fill Exercise: Say or Tell

Fill in the blanks with the correct form of say or tell. Use the correct tense.

1. She __________ she would be late to the meeting.
2. Can you __________ me the time?
3. He __________ a funny joke at the party last night.
4. I didn’t want to upset her, so I just __________ nothing.
5. My brother always __________ the truth, even when it’s difficult.
6. “I’ll call you later,” he __________.
7. Did you __________ your parents about your new job?
8. She __________ goodbye to everyone before leaving.
9. He __________ me a secret and asked me not to tell anyone.
10. I couldn’t __________ the difference between the two paintings.

Answers

1. said
2. tell
3. told
4. said
5. tells
6. said
7. tell
8. said
9. told
10. tell

 

More practice!

Fill in the blanks with the correct form of say or tell. Pay attention to whether a listener is mentioned.

1. She __________ me that she had already finished her homework.
2. “I can’t believe it!” he __________.
3. I didn’t want to lie, so I __________ the truth.
4. Did you __________ your sister what happened at school?
5. He just __________ hello and walked past without stopping.
6. The teacher __________ the students to be quiet before starting the lesson.
7. She __________ nothing about her plans for the weekend.
8. He __________ a story about his travels in Japan.
9. “I’m really sorry,” she __________ to him after the argument.
10. I can’t __________ the difference between the two brands of coffee.

Answers

1. told
2. said
3. told
4. tell
5. said
6. told
7. said
8. told
9. said
10. tell